Domestic Abuse

Domestic abuse is the use, attempted use, or threatened use of force or violence against an intimate partner. It is also a pattern of behavior that results in the emotional abuse, economic control, or interference with personal liberty that is directed towards an intimate partner. An intimate partner is a current or former spouse, a person with whom the abuser shares a child or common domicile, or a person who is in a romantic relationship with the abuser.

Examples of domestic abuse include, but are not limited to, taking your cell phone or keys, not allowing you to leave a location, controlling what you wear or who you speak to, limiting your access to money, name calling, pushing, hitting, or sexual contact without your consent.

Additional Links

• Starting Tough Conversations: Relationship Red Flags (usmc-mccs.org)
• Domestic Abuse Military Reporting Options • Military OneSource
• Finding Help for Victims of Domestic Abuse • Military OneSource
• Family Advocacy - Marine Corps Community (usmc-mccs.org)

It’s important to know where you can go for safe, judgment-free help when you are feeling unsafe in your relationship. Caring assistance is available through the Family Advocacy Program (FAP).

Everyone who experiences domestic abuse has a unique set of circumstances and concerns. Through your installation's FAP, you can meet with a FAP advocate with a deep understanding about the challenges of seeking help for domestic abuse. The role of a FAP advocate is to be there for you, to hear you and to offer help and resources.

If you have experienced intimate partner abuse contact a FAP Advocate or FAP Clinician to learn about resources available to you and reporting options. You may be eligible to obtain a restricted report. Privacy and confidentiality will be explained to you prior to obtaining a report.

Victims may also decide to seek help outside the military. Shelters and agencies in your area can help you consider your options. FAP can connect you to civilian or community-based resources, or you can visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline website.

If you are experiencing domestic abuse, visit HERE to locate the closest FAP office, or go to the National Domestic Violence Hotline website or call 800-799-7233. Call 911 if you are in immediate danger. If you are on a military installation, call your military law enforcement office.

Three groups of professionals may keep information about domestic abuse confidential under the restricted reporting option:

• FAP Advocates
• FAP clinicians
• DoD Health care providers*

Making a restricted report means:

• FAP will not notify military law enforcement.
• Command is not involved.
• You have access to the full range of FAP services, including counseling and advocacy. They will work with you to develop a safety plan and identify your next steps, including pursuing options both within and outside the military system.

Victims are also entitled to the protections of privileged communication with a chaplain. Disclosing domestic abuse to a chaplain is not the same as making a report and will not connect you to FAP services.

Because victim safety is a priority, you cannot use the restricted reporting option if you are in immediate risk of serious harm. And the restricted reporting option does not apply to child abuse cases, which are required by law to be reported to law enforcement and child welfare services.

* Some state-specific laws may require medical providers to report known or suspected incidents of domestic abuse to law enforcement regardless of a victim’s preferences. Contact your local FAP or legal assistance office to learn more.

When an unrestricted report is made, FAP will notify both military law enforcement and the service member's military command.
Making an unrestricted report means:

• Military law enforcement will conduct an investigation of the incident, which includes contacting the alleged abuser.
• Command will be notified.
• Victims can seek a Military and/or Civilian Protective Order.
• Victims have access to the full range of FAP services, including counseling and advocacy. Advocates will work with victims to develop a safety plan, identify next steps and advise of available resources.
• Victims have access to legal services on military installations.
• If a service member is separated for domestic abuse, the victim may be eligible for transitional compensation

Additional Links

FAP advocates provide crisis intervention, immediate and ongoing advocacy services, and safety planning to victims of domestic abuse and non-abusing parents of child abuse victims. To speak with someone regarding services please call your local installation’s 24 hours a day, 7 days a week helpline.

For immediate assistance, the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) provides lifesaving tools and support to enable victims to find safety and live lives free of abuse.

Victim Advocate Locator

Additional Links

5 Ways to Help a Friend Who is Experiencing Domestic Abuse

Everyone’s situation is different — domestic abuse can happen to anyone and it’s not their fault. And it can be difficult to know how to help a friend, coworker or loved one who is in an abusive relationship. Here are five simple things you can do to safely help someone you care about in their time of need.

1. Ask to connect
   “How do you prefer we connect?”
   
   Having a safe way to communicate is important. Let your friend or loved one tell you what is safest for them and honor that. Do not pressure the person to leave. Instead, support them without judgment. Offer to help them plan for their safety or seek outside support when they are ready.
    
2. Stay in touch
   “Let’s play a game online.”
   
   Finding creative reasons to call, text, video chat or use social media check-ins may provide a lifeline for those who feel unsafe at home. For example, some games have chat functions that may allow for communication in nontraditional spaces. Starting up a game that has chat may allow you to check in with your friend without making the abuser suspicious. There are privacy and safety tips for online gaming from the National Network to End Domestic Violence at https://www.techsafety.org/onlinegaming.
    
3. Support and believe
   “I care about you and I’m here for you, no matter what.”
   
   Remind your friend that they are not alone and that you are there for them. If they choose to talk about the abuse, listen and show empathy. Let them know the abuse is not their fault and that you believe them. Ask what you can do to help.
    
4. Chat about options
   “Let’s create a safety plan.”
   
   Options are empowering. Talk to your friend about their options for seeking help or reporting domestic abuse in the military: Let them know that FAP advocates are available 24/7 to help them think through dangerous situations and create a safety plan.
    
5. Share the hotline
   “Here is the information for that restaurant I told you about.”

It may be safer for your friend if you research support options for them - such as the National Domestic Violence Hotline at https://www.thehotline.org - on your device, provided you feel safe doing so. Use your agreed-upon code and a safe communication method when providing this information so it remains private between the two of you.

Create a secret code word, phrase or symbol that lets you know your friend is signaling for help, whether that means a call from you or for you to call the police. A call can sometimes disrupt abuse.

Additional Links